Providence, RI, USA

401-297-8376

©2018 BY J. POISSON.

Hard Data | Opening Excerpt

May 2, 2019

INT. LOCKER ROOM - DAY

 

Providence University’s rugby team rushes into the locker room after a sweaty, sweaty practice. Half wear their team colours- Black and White, while others are shirtLess.

 

Behind the pack is COACH GABLE, a white man in his mid-40s, a military crew cut wearing son of a bitch whose lack of sleep is telegraphed by the dark bags under his crazed eyes.  

 

Standing just behind Coach Gable is the scrawny towel-boy LES, who is either a baby faced 20-year-old, or his balls just dropped. Les is meekness incarnate.

 

COACH GABLE

Good job gentlemen, you reek! 

 

Les, pulls his ball cap down a bit as he grabs a pile of fresh clean towels off a bench.

 

COACH GABLE

The stench in this room could knock

a dead hooker onto her knees. Love it! 

 

The rugby players continue listening to Coach Gable's speech as they change out of their uniforms.

 

COACH GABLE

Embrace it! Your stench will

strike fear into our foes. 

 

KYLE, white male in his early twenties  who looks like a poster boy for Ed Hardy’s douchiest of clothing lines, sniffs under his armpit.

 

COACH GABLE

A smell like no other. A musk of

virile precision, gentlemen. 

 

Coach Gable grabs Les in a headlock as the coach stares out and reaches towards some heaven only he sees.

 

COACH GABLE

I can see it now. Defeat. Of our most

hated enemy- The Scarborough Red Tide- at

the homecoming game. Oh yes, gentlemen the

stink of defeat will no longer be hovering over

the Providence University Skunks. 

 

Coach Gable crushes Les more in his embrace.

 

COACH GABLE

Victory shall be mine. 

 

Coach Gable smiles like a lunatic, crushing Les more.

 

COACH GABLE

(To himself)

That's right you son of bitch.

Humiliate me, huh? Huh? HUH!? 

 

The whole team, including TYLER, a black male with a set of abs you could scrub your clothes on, holds an ice pack to his head, and stares at Coach Gable dumbfounded. 

 

Tyler holds an ice pack against his elbow.

 

COACH GABLE

We're gonna win! RIGHT! 

 

DANIEL, a white male in his early twenties with Abercrombie model good looks and a captain’s jersey, slowly walks toward Coach Gable.

 

DANIEL

Right, Coach. Shower time? 

 

Les continues to struggle, his face flushing red.

 

COACH GABLE

What? 

 

DANIEL

We have to hit the showers. 

 

COACH GABLE

Right! 

 

Coach Gable releases Les.

 

COACH GABLE

Shower time boys, practice same time tomorrow! 

 

The team disperses. Les struggles to catch his breath. Daniel grabs a towel from the top of the pile.

 

DANIEL

You okay kid? 

 

LES

....Ah... Yeah. 

 

DANIEL

Good. Wouldn't want you dying us. 

 

Les stares up at him a moment- Then snaps out of his daze.

 

LES

Need... Need a towel? 

 

Daniel holds up his towel.

 

DANIEL

Already got one. I'd say you lost a

few brain cells this time. Don't stand so close

to Coach, he nearly choked you out. 

 

Les nervously laughs.

 

KEITH, a white male in his early twenties looks like a ginger Adonis supporting a faux-hawk and nothing else, walks up to Les.

 

KEITH

Nerd Boy! Where the fuck is my towel? 

 

INT. SHOWERS- DAY

 

Les holds a stack of towels as the last of the rugby players finish their showers. They walk by him one by one taking a towel as they pass.

 

Finally the last one walks by, leaving Les standing alone with towels in his hands.

 

Les listens as the noise of frat boys slowly dies down and only the drips of the leaky shower heads can be heard.

 

INT. LOCKER ROOM- DAY

 

Les walks over to a locker at the end of the row. Quickly he dials in the combination.

 

Les peaks around the corner, ensuring the coast is clear. He opens the locker and deftly tosses a point and shoot camera he had hidden under the pile of towels he carried into a backpack.

 

Les grabs a pile of clothes out of the bottom of the locker and places them on a bench.

 

Again he checks to see if the coast is clear as he pulls off his baseball cap reveling long hair.

 

Les pulls off his rugby shirt- under which he's wearing a small sized bra. Then he removes his shorts- wearing woman's panties and not a bulge to speak of.

 

Les grabs the clothing off the bench and puts them- A punk band t-shirt, skirt and black boots- on.

 

Les, a white woman in her early twenties with a nerdy girl next door vibe, tosses her hair back, puts on some lipstick, slips on her glasses and grabs her backpack as she heads out of the locker room.

 

---

 

 

 

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